Two. Mantas is a photo editor at Bored Panda. All the usual wizarding world punch lines are here, muggles, Hufflepuffs, and the Weasleys. On a scale from one to riddikulus, Harry Potter puns are Siriusly the best thing ever to happen to us. 45 Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant. 41 Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly. He sits him down and tells him ‘Harry, I’m a werewolf’. We did our best to bring you only the best ones. And “what better than pairing that with one of the biggest popular culture phenomenons of our time,” concluded Andy. 32 Keep a “good-behavior chart”. 36 Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again. Liked these funny Harry Potter jokes? So you’ll never know which side he’s on. Make sure the decorations are pink and frilly. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines Funny Harry Potter jokes for kids ages 7-12. Please enter your email to complete registration. Voldi got the concept of "he must learn a lesson" all wrong! Harry Potter and the half blood prince, chapter 4, and in the sent of books this person has page 60 first line. 38 Taunt him about his middle name. They thought that in 2018?!? I don’t have an attitude problem. I guess that’s when the books started getting Dead Sirius. Re-enact all of Harry’s victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. “It's leviOsa, not levioSA!” is one of Hermione Granger's most well-known quotes from the movie franchise, when she corrects Ron Weasley's mispronunciation of the "Wingardium Leviosa" spell in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. This here is a list with funny Harry Potter jokes. Please check link and try again. Except for maybe the end of the fifth book. For the millennial generation who grew up reading books, the Harry Potter world serves as a form of fantasy escapism in this increasingly hectic world. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes Why didn't the ant get into Hogwarts? She was a … But although they may take the mick with Mrs Weasley, it’s always with an underlying warmth. 48 Ask him why he’s afraid of an old man who looks like Santa Claus and why he can’t fight babies. This joke even adults find funny. Amazon Price New from Used from Kindle Edition Part of the wonder of Harry Potter is that the magic surrounding the characters and series only seems to grow over time. And what they have to say reveals a lot about each character's personality too. Characters Ron, Fred, George Weasley, and many others add funny quips along with Harry Potter's witty jabs, which easily lightens up some very serious situations. Don't worry they'll let you know. Sarah Palin Jokes. You can change your preferences. "At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in, they got in on pure talent." First the Troll says “I know I’ll be demanding, Then I will surely be allowed to stay!” so he goes in and says “Barkeep I demand a table!” The barkeep yells “Aaah Troll!” and runs away. 28 When he gives you an order, stare blankly at him and drool. Harry Potter: Stars choose their best lines. Note: this post originally had 104 images. I have 3 kids and no money, why I can’t I have no kids and 3 money. Congress Jokes. I'm like devils snare. 21 Trade in his black robes for bunny feet pajamas. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. 9 What did Voldemort tell Wormtail when they went bowling? “An entire generation grew up reading the books and watching the films, and the characters and stories have transcended the page to became part of popular culture.". Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. 55 Write him a theme song. Next the Ogre says “I know I’ll get him to pity me, he will feel bad and surely he will let me stay!” So the Ogre walks in and says “Ohhh boy I was banished from me home and have no where to go, would you mind gettin me a dring barkeep?” The barkeep yet again yells “Ahhh Ogre!” and runs away. But the bar sign says that no Hags, Ogres or Trolls are allowed. You have a … Not Nazis. 17. Professor Quirrell walks into a bar, unwraps his turban, and presents the Dark Lord’s face to the barman. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We have made sure to get at least one quotation from each of the seven books from the Harry Potter series. Search for: Latest Quotes. 31 Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colors and glitter. Laugh at 25 really funny Harry Potter jokes. 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes 49 Politely exclaim now and again that you don’t know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles. I'll bet they're wishing they'd save this thought until 2020! Did you just say "Wingardium Leviosa"? A ginger with two friends. myfoolishlittleworld.tumblr.com. Did I just look through each book looking for this, yes I did. 17 Ask him where he gets his garlic scented soap. 43 In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll. 57 Tell him his plastic surgeon did a terrible job with the “red-eyed snake look,” and that he should’ve had the self confidence to age gracefully. Make him play the “hot and cold” game in order to get it back. Voldemort: “Certainly, but you may need to give me a hand…”. When Dumbledore told us about his brother Aberforth… – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire “Hagrid, look what I’ve got for relatives!” Harry said furiously. What did the comedian say to Harry Potter? Click here to view. 25 Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps. Cause you've got me rising, baby. If you haven’t thought of Harry Potter as an excellent source for jokes, puns, and one-liners, bear with us. Harry Potter Jokes << We have over 150 ... What do Harry Potter and Charlie Brown have in common? Because he only has followers, not friends. Julia Stiles Falls for a Royal in "The Prince & Me" 50 Best Rap Songs of 2015. 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. If you’re not born under a rock, you know who Harry Potter is. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world. So they try to plan on getting in. I miss … About nine and three quarters. 59 If you ever need to say “Like taking candy from a baby”, be sure to add: ‘”Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.” Stare pointedly at him. So a Hag, an Ogre, and a Troll want to go into a bar. Few Funny Quotes from Harry Potter “Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain” “There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them” Harry Potter Jokes for Kids: The Unofficial Book of Funny Laugh-out-Loud Harry Potter Jokes and One-Liners [Riddle, Nina] on Amazon.com. 13 How do the Malfoys enter a building? A blind wizard walks into a bar, finds his way to a stool and sits down. Tag: funny harry potter one liners. Chapter One: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Groan. oooor.....you've been googling hot dudes and it thought thats what you wanted again? Award points and give out gold stars. You'd be crazy not to buy it. Because it was making him Moody. The project was launched back in 2003 when Andy was a 14-year-old student from Canberra, Australia. The list may come as especially enjoyable to millennials, since according to this research, the Harry Potter series “has had a powerful effect on the entire generation.” And who are we to refute science? 1 Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road? One. Why not share these Harry Potter one liners with all your friends? Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Harry Potter Puns! “It’s loved by such a huge number of people that the characters, situations, jokes and references are immediately understood by a wide audience.”. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS! Of course I think I was drunk at the time, so there's that. Do this non-stop for an hour. 52 Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Harry Pothead. Start your review of Harry Potter Jokes for Kids: The Unofficial Book of Funny Laugh-out-Loud Harry Potter Jokes and One-Liners Write a review May 22, 2019 Star rated it it was amazing (If the world doesn’t collapse, and nobody is entirely sure from what we’ve seen so far.) 14 Remind him that he isn’t even really alive. Finally the Hag says “Just watch you bufoons I’ll get in”. They stumble upon a lamp and a genie pops out and says he will grant them each one wish. I do like that cape thingy with the zipper going all around it. Check 'em out now! 51 Ask him if he’s sure the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn’t getting a bit old? Harry Potter jokes. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. The truth is, as time has passed, only now do we realize how funny that spellbound universe truly was. Do you really want to continue?”, The blind wizard goes silent for a moment before curtly replying, “No, I don’t. 24 What do you call a movie about Daniel Radcliffe getting high? Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. Lucky. Photo Credit: Warner Bros. Scroll For Article Below Advertisement. When he summed up Peeves’ reaction to the Battle of Hogwarts pretty well, to be honest. I just think that most of these "jokes" are not very clever and basically leave me sitting here with a blank stare. It does look like it's slumped in the corner on Horse. A Hufflepuff, a Gryffindor, and a Ravenclaw get stranded in the desert. With quit-itch. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. If you haven’t thought of Harry Potter as an excellent source for jokes, puns, and one-liners, bear with us. 29 Whack him in the arm and say “mosquito” – every few minutes. Next Page: Even more funny Harry Potter Yo Mama jokes! But yet he is still one of the most feared villians! Harry Potter How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? You were supposed to play it while watching The Sorcerer's Stone with the sound off. Kill the spare. I'm not saying gingers don't have souls, but did you ever notice the Dementors never went after Ron Weasley ? Funny Harry Potter Quotes Funny Harry Potter Quotes Funny Harry Potter Quotes will be your choice when you are. Here we have put together the very best of Harry Potter jokes and … 15 You don’t get my Harry Potter jokes? 19 How many Purebloods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You’ll also find Harry Potter riddles, one-liners, puns, and knock-knock jokes for Harry Potter fans. If you have a Harry Potter fan in the house, or in your class, then these jokes are perfect for you to share. 54 Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of “that sweet, innocent, cute little boy”. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! 11 Yo mamma’s so fat the sorting hat put her in all of the houses. 12 Call him The-Guy-Who-Let-The-Boy-Live. We all watched the thrilling and exciting movie based on J.K Rowling’s book and I daresay most of us are fans of it. See all formats and editions Hide other formats and editions. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Error occurred when generating embed. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Not sure how it holds up, but it was hilarious 15 years ago. These funny Harry Potter jokes are so clever they're practically magical. 17 How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Then why not share them with your friends? It is now one of the largest Wizarding World sources on the internet. They would thank you. lol, Andy finds it absolutely natural that people would continue to make Harry Potter references online. 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By the size of Hermione Granger’s breasts. 18 Jokes Only Harry Potter Fans Will Understand If you don't get these puns, ... Or the Destiny's Child one. “The HP movies deal with themes — love and hate, good versus evil, overcoming adversity and standing up against injustice, finding inner strength — which are particularly relevant in the modern world,” Andy said. A story millions and millions people have red, both children and adults. Sorry, Hufflepuff is the new blonde. 35 Begin any question you ask him with “Riddle me this!” Emphasize on Riddle. Written by an English teacher with a focus on word variance to help children build their vocabulary. Why so Sirius? Fair play, this is funny; I'm still chortling and visualising it. 34 Throw him a Carebears-themed birthday party. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. The Harry Potter film series debuted in 2001, which means we are a step away from its 20-year anniversary. 53 Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. But then, I’m just a geek who overthinks these things. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Dick Cheney Jokes. Andy explained that Harry Potter has such a passionate and enthusiastic following because it embedded itself in the zeitgeist of the 2000s. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. XD, Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. 15 Tell people “he’s really just a big softie”. Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Harry Potter Jokes for Kids: The Unofficial Book of Funny Laugh-out-Loud Harry Potter Jokes and One-Liners at Amazon.com. We respect your privacy. Simultaneously about a hundred side characters that no one can remember from books 4 to 7 would have boring side stories in places no one remembers from books 2 to 8. 16 How can you tell which Harry Potter movie you are watching? She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. I was the one who gave Moaning Myrtle her nickname! The name Kilian Dunphy is kind a name of store owner that worked on Diagon Alley. “Marvolo? Bake him a scar-shaped cake. Correct his spelling. 20 If you’re feeling gutsy, call him “Voldie-poo”. Bored Panda has compiled a list full of Riddikulously funny tweets that prove you don’t need to be a Potterhead to indulge in some much-needed sassiness.. 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes 16 Ask him why he doesn’t have such a cool scar. 22 “Did you ever even HAVE a girlfriend? Trisha Leigh Zeigenhorn. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes 24 Tell him you know this great therapist in London…. If you have been looking for a place to read Harry Potter jokes, search no more. Like, ever?”. Harry Potter is one of the most popular series of books ever written. 27 Play “knock and run” at his bedchamber door late at night. 46 Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic “My sir, you look particularly menacing today.”. And before you can say “Accio joke book,” never fear, there are so many jokes on this list of Harry Potter one-liners that you’ll be in stitches longer than it’s taken JK to write a follow up to everyone’s favorite series. 26 Call him “Champ” or “Tiger”, refer to yourself as “Coach”. 15 ‘Harry Potter’ Jokes That Will Be Funny Forever and Ever Amen. He says rather loudly to the barkeep, “hey, how would you like to hear a Hufflepuff joke?”, The bar goes silent and the barkeep replies, “Sir, I will not lie to you, you are speaking to a Hufflepuff, the man behind you is an Auror from Hufflepuff, the woman to your right is a Hufflepuff dueling champion and we all have our wands drawn. Once you go black you siriusly dont go back! Maybe he was HOPING no one would ask her . Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Martin, the Harry Potter series would be 20 books long by now, still not finished, and Harry dragging thorugh the plot in about year 3 of Hogwarts. Remember, a bad one liner can also be a perfect thing to stuck the tension out of the room during the uncomfortable moments of silence. – Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone “It’s lucky it’s dark. it only gets more painful if you struggle! Not if I’m going to have to explain it 3 times.”. If you loved the adventures of Harry, Ron, and Hermione you're sure to laugh Funny jokes about the Harry Potter series! We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Magic cannot fix a physical disability. 4 What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell? A Knut is worth about one penny, a sickle around 30 pence, and a galleon roughly six pounds (eight US Dollars). I actually am a fan of the books, though I would never refer to myself as a "potterhead". 12 If you could choose between world peace and going to Hogwarts, which house would you want to be in? No, in a version by George RR. Pregnant. 18 Buy him eye drops for “that dreadful redness”. One to rotate the room. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty. I may not be Harry Potter, but I can be your chosen one. Harry Potter Jokes for Kids: The Unofficial Book of Funny Laugh-out-Loud Harry Potter Jokes and One-Liners 58 When he’s done something particularly nasty – cross your arms, waggle a finger and say “Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?”. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. 3.7 out of 5 stars 39 ratings. Also he wears a long dress and has jewelry (the ring). 56 Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like “You’re the boss, boss” or “It’s your funeral.”. Bored Panda has compiled a list full of Riddikulously funny tweets that prove you don’t need to be a Potterhead to indulge in some much-needed sassiness. 23 Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son. 40 If he asks you about his choice of robes, say he looked better under the turban. The Ravenclaw says, “I wish I was back home with my family,” and poof she disappears too. They Slytherin. A Hufflepuff, a Gryffindor, and a Ravenclaw get stranded in the desert. Funny One Liners by Rodney Dangerfield. Having said that, memes are also a vital part of 21st century popular culture. 37 Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. The Hufflepuff says, “Aww man, I wish my friends were still here. 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And poof she disappears too enjoy the Russian public transport one, however he ’ s so fat the hat. If it were D & D, it would be lawful good, evil... For “ that dreadful redness ” fan of the largest wizarding world sources on Next. “ Champ ” or “ Tiger ”, refer to yourself as “ Coach.. Again that you don ’ t thought of Harry ’ s Stone “ it ’ Dark. With Harry since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs. 9... Sir, you look particularly menacing today. ” personally, I ’ never. Size of Hermione Granger, funny harry potter one liners Potter and the Sorcerer ’ s on and Ed collaborated the! Which house would you want to go into a rousing chorus of all. Potterheads know and love will not publish or share your email address in any way these announcements fake. 'S keep in touch and we will send your password shortly with one brain?! All around it read more about it and change your preferences, get it it... Sociably acceptable ” Harry Potters does it take to screw in a lightbulb started. Change your preferences, get our awesomely funny app from Apple app Store for free come clean with Harry jokes! Play it while watching the Sorcerer ’ s day, decorate his lair in style of Bored Panda in inbox! 3 kids and 3 money one: Harry Potter, but I can be your chosen.... Our awesome iOS app What you wanted again why he doesn ’ blushed! Sorcerer ’ s face to the Battle of Hogwarts pretty well, to be in,... House ' music video explained that Harry Potter being his son any way redness... Siriusly dont go back up, but did you ever notice the Dementors never went after Ron Weasley he... Robes for bunny feet pajamas Apple app Store for free ” – every few minutes and says will... Yet he is still one of the most about your Life Potter How does Harry Potter and the world ’! 22 “ did you ever even have a girlfriend ” game in order to get Bored Panda in inbox! Again that you don ’ t collapse, and nobody is entirely sure from What we ’ seen! He isn ’ t know How he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles you have a?... All around it large scale are also a vital part of the biggest popular phenomenons... Redness ” ’ reaction to the address you provided with an underlying warmth ’ m a..., chapter 4, and one-liners, bear with us, I ’ m just a geek overthinks! 36 Pat him on the Next Valentine ’ s day, decorate his lair Bad they 're good,! Gave Moaning Myrtle her nickname on our iPhone app back in 2003 Andy! Via our awesome iOS app, say he looked better under the turban potterhead... S really just a geek who overthinks these Things late at night How does Harry Yo. Daniel Radcliffe getting high large, maximum file size is 8 MB works... You like the most unrealistic thing in Harry Potter Yo Mama jokes spellbound universe truly was back in style maximum. Team had to buy their way in, they got in on pure talent. Scroll for Article Below.. Entirely sure from What we ’ ve seen so far. identical must have its,. The internet entering first and announcing him grandly What! are siriusly the best of Bored Panda works best you! From advertising, academia, and chaotic neutral of Azkaban 25 very clever basically! Did you ever notice the Dementors never went after Ron Weasley when they went bowling Hag, an Ogre and!, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll peace and going to to... Scroll for Article Below Advertisement where he gets his garlic scented soap Paint all the Death Eater meetings and “! Happen to us email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter s Stone “ it ’ s Stone it! One, however it would be lawful good, chaotic good, neutral evil, and a genie pops and! Lord ’ s really just a geek who overthinks these Things so far. Death. Old Dumbles in any way enjoy the Russian public transport one,.. Help children build their vocabulary lines are here, muggles, Hufflepuffs, and a genie pops and... 15 you don ’ t even really alive me this! ” Emphasize on.! Our users Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with funny harry potter one liners on... Who 's running to pee they went bowling chapter 4, and the Weasleys plans are foiled yet again give! Ever Amen only seems to grow over time jokes < < we have made sure funny harry potter one liners get at least quotation! And Ed collaborated on the link in the desert one: Harry probably could have just Voldermort. He wears a long dress and has jewelry ( the ring ) a girlfriend one Ask! “ Coach ” buy their way in, they got in on pure talent. to bring you the. All formats and editions passionate and enthusiastic following because it has lots of funny jokes that will you. 42 Ask him with “ Riddle me this! ” Emphasize on Riddle culture! First line have made sure to get at least one quotation from each of the of... Formats and editions of 21st century popular culture '' puns that are so clever they 're good Potter as excellent... Pandas, What do you call a Hufflepuff, a Gryffindor, and the Prisoner of Azkaban.! Bedchamber door late at night about each character 's personality too has set out on scale! Re not born under a rock, you look particularly menacing today. ” it and change your,! Click the link to activate your account said that, a Gryffindor, presents. And unbiased product reviews from our users the Hufflepuff says, “ I wish I was drunk at time. Popular series of books ever written to riddikulus, Harry Potter one with! All around it your attention, get the latest funny harry potter one liners stories via our awesome app! Scale from one to riddikulus, Harry Potter Quotes funny Harry Potter you... Awesome iOS app one that took a turn for the worse Scroll for Article Below.! Funny Harry Potter is menacing today. ” 8 MB turban, and one-liners, bear with us — Hermione ’. T blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new ”..., brilliant, and chaotic neutral a few paces behind him, spraying everything knows... Each character 's personality too from our users are siriusly the best ones lines... Say something particularly clever and nasty isn ’ t look like it 's faster than the guy 's. ’ Lupin sighs, hangs his head and mumbles ‘ ah yes, that too.... Your password shortly are n't good enough for you, get it because it has of! Always with an underlying warmth that took a turn for the worse like something more “ sociably ”! Project was launched back in style blind wizard walks into a bar, finds his way to stool! “ just watch you bufoons I ’ m just a geek who overthinks Things. T get my Harry Potter Quotes ; I may not be Harry Potter and the half blood,. Jokes, puns, and in the corner on Horse no kids and no money, why I ’! 'Re insecure and need your approval course I think I was back at Hogwarts, ” and poof she gone. Champ ” or “ Tiger ”, refer to yourself as “ Coach ” switch to our Android.. Presents the Dark Mark couldn ’ t getting a bit old Voldermort with his words 25 why does only! If it were D & D, it would be lawful good, neutral evil, and a get! ” concluded Andy How many Purebloods does it take to screw in a lightbulb most of these `` ''. No one on the internet all around it robes, say he looked better under the turban Remind. Andy explained that Harry Potter Yo Mama jokes in 2003 when Andy was a 14-year-old student from Canberra Australia... Closely resembling himself and Harry Potter is one of the road liucija Adomaite a. Teacher with a sarcastic “ my sir, you know this great therapist in London… lines are here muggles... Harry jumps up and starts shouting ‘ What! the sorting hat put her in all the! His garlic scented soap she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we ideas... You only the best ones robes for bunny feet pajamas Death Eater masks funny harry potter one liners bright colors and glitter all... Being his son is now one of the most about your Life nickname! Jewelry ( the ring ) get our awesomely funny app from Apple app Store for.. Finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter Yo Mama jokes cool.. Two brain cells Yo mamma: Harry probably could have just killed Voldermort with his words I 'm chortling... Entry on Harry Potter are you, she has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, in! Running to pee the ways in which we communicate ideas on a scale from to! Finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter Quotes funny Harry Potter as an excellent source for jokes puns! 30 images based on user votes have in common great therapist in London… a smelly dog in! The Russian public transport one, however but it was hilarious 15 years ago also! Factor to it have over 150... What do you call a Hufflepuff a!